My Darling Clementine
by MistyxKisame
Summary: Duck has a crush on Clementine although the young girl's affections lie with someone else. A much older someone else. Desperate for Clementine to notice him, he turns to Lee for help. Oh boy. This can not end well. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. Who knows when it comes to Lee?
1. Prologue

Duck had never felt so jealous in his life. Everything had been find until that guy got brought into their little camp. Now instead of hanging around him, Clementine preferred to be around around the teenager whose name was Ben, the newest member of their group. Duck liked Ben, but the moment Clementine started ignoring him whenever he wanted to play just to hang with him made him mad. What made him so interesting? He never liked playing with toys. He didn't like playing hop-scotch...well Duck didn't either, but if Clementine wanted to play that he did too! He barely got into the game of Candy Land they liked to play, getting bored rather easily. Clementine would mindlessly agree with him too even though she was rather fond of the game.

Duck could tell he wanted people his age around since everyone in their group were way older than him or way younger than him. Ben didn't like being treated like a child let alone always having to hang with them. He wished Ben had someone his own age at the inn. That way he and Clementine would be alone again. Just the two of them, without him. But no, it was all three of them! Duck wanted to rude and tell him to go do something else and let the two of them be alone. Duck couldn't bring himself to do it though. He was sure his mother would over hear and lecture him. Besides, Clementine would be upset if he told him off. He didn't want her mad at him, so he just kept quiet and tried tolerating Ben.

He wanted to ask someone for advise, but he wasn't sure who to turn to. His crush (yes he had come to the realization that he did indeed like her in that way) was too into Ben to to notice that he liked her or even to know he existed. There were times that she would completely ignore him in favor of that guy. He didn't want to go to his father. It'd been years since he had met his mother and there was no telling what kind of old fashion techniques he had up his sleeves. It might involve him pulling her by her hair into some kind of cave. He was pretty sure she'd cry or hit him if he did that. Even if she didn't cry or hit him, he didn't have a cave!

He wondered who he should go to. Why not Lee? Lee was noticeably more younger than his father and would most likely have techniques that were from this century. Besides, he had Carley so they were guaranteed to work! He was desperate for help and Lee was his only chance.


	2. Distraction

Lee was in the middle of telling an epic story to Carley. At least Lee thought it was epic. Carley really didn't feel like hearing him talking about how he gutted a walker. Duck grabbed Lee's jacket, yanking on it. "What? Don't you see I'm busy?"

"I need your help!" said Duck ignoring the angry look on his face.

"I'm..."

"Lee, help out Duck." said Carley, eager to get away. "I'll be fine. Really."

She quickly went back inside of her room before he could say anything. Lee sighed and turned back to the little boy. "Okay, Duck. What's wrong?"

"It's Clementine. She..."

"What? What's wrong with her!? Is she hurt? Is she bit? Is she..."

"No. She's always hanging out with that guy, Ben, and..."

"Oh that is a problem. He's a dork."

"Yeah! And to top it all off, I think she likes him! Like likes him likes him!"

"THAT is the big problem. No wonder you came to me!" said Lee. He thought for a minute. "Hm. Wait, why do you have a problem with him? I see you over there...OH! You like her that way too!"

"Just a little." said the little boy blushing a little.

"Better you than that lame fuck." shrugged the former teacher. "Okay, I'll help. So what do you want to do about it? Do you want me to chase him off or...?"

"No! I just want her to start playing with me not him!" said Duck. He didn't want Ben to leave or get hurt. He just wanted Clementine to pay attention to him and not the teenager.

"Let's see. What do you have that Ben doesn't? Hm..." he looked the little boy up and down. "You're pretty short and he's tall and lanky. Not to mention he looks like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo..."

"I love that show!"

"Focus."

"Sorry."

"You're both ugly."

"Hey!"

"What? You are!" said Lee.

"BEN! LEE CALLED YOU..." Lee clasped his hands over the little boy's face and dragged him into an empty room just as everyone looked up at him.

"Do that again and I won't help you." snapped Lee. "And okay, okay! I'm sorry. Now, Duck if you really wanna get into a woman's heart you gotta think like the woman in choice. Now I can't help you out too much because I know more about adult women and nothing about little girls because I'm not a little boy or a pedo. Now you on the other hand. You've been hanging out with her for a while. You know what she likes."

"Unlike you!" said Duck.

"Ouch! That kind of hurt" said Lee. "Anyways it's not like she's my child anyways. Well she sort of it, but still I don't know everything about her. I try at least."

"How do we do her favorite things? Every time I try, she won't because Ben doesn't want to."

"What a boring fuck." said Lee shaking his head. Clementine was so in love with Ben she didn't even want to play! Now that was was a warning sign. She'd probably stop eating if Ben said it wasn't cool. She didn't need to stop doing what she liked just because some boy, AN UGLY BOY, said so. He wasn't even that good looking! How the hell did Clementine even fall for him?

"We need a distraction."

"Of course. I'll distract him and you go in for the kill."

"Right...but how?"

"Just talk to her, stupid." snapped Lee.

"But what do I...?"

"Come on. Trust me. Nothing you can say will be that bad." said Lee rolling his eyes. "I'll distract him and give you time to tell her how you feel."

"Alright!" said Duck getting excited and nervous at the same time.

Lee came out the room with the child and went downstairs to Ben, asking to talk to him. Ben was a bit surprised Lee of all people wanted to speak to him. The two rarely spoke to each other and when they did it wasn't for too long. Lee took him off to the side while Duck made his way over to the little girl who was just sitting there doing nothing. How boring. He went over to her and sat down beside her.

"Hey, Clementine!" said Duck smiling at her.

"Hm? Oh hey Duck." said Clementine in a bored voice.

"Do you wanna play with me?"

"No thanks." she said looking over to the side.

"What about Candy Land?"

Clementine had a quick flicker of interest on her face, but it was gone so quickly that it made Duck wonder if it was real. She just shook her head, telling him she was good and that it was a baby's game. He suggested monolpoly and she pointed out that all the money had gotten wet from leaving it out due to the sudden rain from a few weeks back. He suggested hide and seek to which she declined quickly saying she wanted to wait for HIM. Duck resisted the urge to call him a rude name that would surely get his mouth washed out with soap.

"Clementine, I have to tell you something." said Duck.

"Can it wait? Ben's coming back."

"But..."

"Come on! Just one more story!" said Lee following Ben closely behind him.

"Lee, your stories are weird and really disgusting." said Ben sitting back down in his chair. "Nobody wants to hear about that time you slashed off a zombie's boob and slapped her with it. I'm pretty sure that didn't happen anyways."

"No, but it was entertaining, right?"

"No." said Ben. "It was gross."

"Whatever." he walked off.

"Are you sure you don't want to play?" asked Duck. Clementine ignored him as she scooted closer to Ben. "Clementine? Clem?"

Clementine was too busy looking at Ben with a look of affection embedded on her childish face. Duck clenched his fists and went over to Lee who was standing over by the stairs now. "What the heck happened?!"

"He's not as distractable as I thought." said Lee. "Maybe I should have shown him those porno magazines."

"Lee! You were supposed to be helping me out!" whined Duck. "You didn't do it for long enough!"

"I'm sorry! Geez! So I'm guessing you didn't do anything."

"I tried and before I could tell her I liked her, he was coming back." pouted the little boy.

"You know what we have to do, right?"

"No, what?" asked Duck.

"We have to turn you into a perfect man." said Lee. "Well perfect little man."

"How?"

"I'm going to teach you how to win a woman's heartmy way. Although since you're so young, I'm going to have to take out a lot of steps."

"Can we start now?"

"Not today. I have to get ready." said Lee. "We start at dawn, so get ready!"


	3. Messing Up

When it was around 8 am, Duck eagerly went over to Lee's room and pounded on the door. He was ready to learn how to win over Clementine and wanted Lee to teach him now! Lee took a long time coming to the door and when he did, he looked annoyed. "Damn it, Duck. Don't you know what time it is?"

"Yeah! It's 8:05!" said Duck cheerfully. "You said we were getting up early."

"I did, didn't I?" He groaned as he looked at his watch. It was much too early to do this, but since he was already up he may as well. He invited Duck into his room to get started. "Okay the first thing to go over his you vs Ben."

"What does that mean?"

"It means what are the things about you that are better than Ben and what does Ben have that you don't."

"Oh well uh...oh! I know a lot about Batman!" said Duck. He bit his lip trying to think of more reasons he was better or what he had that Ben didn't. "I'm...uh handsome! I'm handsome! And...that's it."

"You can't think of anything else?"

"I'm good at board games and I'm pretty funny." said Duck after a bit. "Now what does Ben have?"

"He's older, Clementine might look up to him for whatever reason, I guess he's nice, she might thinks he looks good, he's tall, and he can do stuff you can't."

"Hmph! Like what?"

"Reach a high shelf," Duck didn't look amused at this. Lee didn't know why Clementine even like the teenager in the first place. As much as he had seen her interact with him, there wasn't much to see in him. He was kind of awkward and none of the adults really treated him any differently than the kids except the rare times when they let him keep watch on the RV. Maybe he should do some investigating into this though he was sure Ben would catch on to him watching him and possibly scare him into thinking he either did something wrong or they were going to toss him out the group for whatever reason.

"I don't think you're helping much, Lee," frowned Duck. "I don't need jokes! I need help!"

"You're right. Sorry. Okay so I think what you might have to do is get Clementine to see it's much better being with you than Ben," explained Lee.

"But how?" Every time he asked Clementine to play, she'd much rather be by the teenager's side than play even her favorite games. Sure she'd look as if she really wanted to but she quickly turned the offer down every time she wasn't ignoring him.

"I got it!" said Lee snapping his fingers. "The next time we hunting, we take him with us!"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" asked Duck. He remembered his father saying that Ben couldn't shoot to save his life.

"Yeah. We're gone for a long time so that'll give you enough time to remind her of much fun the two of you can have together."

"You are gone for a pretty long time...okay." said Duck. "I guess I better get ready."

Duck quickly hurried off to plan out what they were going to do that day. Later in the day, Duck was drawing outside when he overheard his dad arguing with Lee. "You can't be serious!"

"Well we need the help with Mark's ankle's being sprained," said Lee. "Do you really want to take Larry instead?"

"Fuck no, but I don't want to take the kid either!" Kenny said in disgust. "He can't shoot for shit!"

"Well maybe he just needs practice," shrugged Lee. "We're still taking him. He doesn't have to have a gun. Just let him carry the stuff. The more hands the better, you know?"

"You're right, but if the little shit fucks up it's on you."

Lee asked Ben to come with them, which surprised the teenager. He was rarely given any responsibilities and to be asked to come hunting with them took him by surprise. Why did they all of a sudden want him to come anyways?It was no secret members of the group didn't think too highly of him and some (aka Larry and Lilly) didn't want him around due to thinking he was useless. He couldn't help they wouldn't let him stand guard or do anything of value. Maybe by coming, he could prove himself. He knew it had to be Lee's idea as Larry and Kenny often bluntly either stated he tended to be just an extra mouth or a kid who couldn't do anything of use despite not giving him a proper chance. Lilly pretty much treated him coldly and he got the vibe she thought the same as her father and Kenny. Mark and Carley pitied him though he wasn't sure if either of them trusted him not to mess up. Lee at least had some faith in him. Ben agreed to come and Clementine wanted to come too, but Lee of course told her she had to stay with Duck as it might be too dangerous. She practically started begging to come with them, but Lee gave her a firm no. Clementine was visibly disappointed by not being able to come along and just wished them luck. Once they were gone, Duck made his move.

"Hey, Clementine!" He said cheerfully. She was sitting down in her usual spot where Ben was and looking upset. "You wanna play?"

"No thanks."

"Are you sure? I remade the monopoly money!" said Duck holding up the box. "I mean it's not perfect, but I tried! I know you like playing it."

Clementine thought about it for a few seconds. "No thanks."

"Okay what about 'Life'? Mom found it in one of the rooms."

"No thanks. I don't feel like playing."

Duck was starting to get annoyed at her. He was gone and would be gone for quite some time. It wasn't like they were going to come back so fast. The only time trips into the woods lasted so short was when it rained and there were no clouds in the sky. Was she worried he'd for some reason come back and get mad at her just for moving? Clementine didn't have to carter to his whims but here she was doing so even though he doubted Ben told her not to move.

"Come on. You can't just sit here all day waiting for Ben to come back!" said an irritated Duck. "Then again it's all you ever do when you're with that boring stick in the mud anyways!"

"He isn't!" said Clementine.

"Yes he is! All he does is be a big dummy and he doesn't even like to play games! What's up with that!?"

"It's because he's much more mature than you are."

"I am mature!"

"You still play kids' games."

"Because I am one! I'm not like I'm a tall, ugly shaggy wannabe!" snapped Duck. Clementine's eyes widened at this before glaring at Duck.

"And at least he isn't you!" With that, Clementine stormed off to her room. He realized too late what he said and tried apologizing to her only for her to ignore him and slam her door in his face. What had he just done? Now Clementine was mad at him and all because he couldn't shut his mouth about how much he disliked the teenager.


End file.
